I wish you had never come into my Life Khushi
''I wish you had never come into my life,' he said and stormed out.
Khushi watched him go, numb with pain.
Had he just meant those words?
Had she ruined his happiness? The happiness of the man she had just almost given her life for?
Her feet would not move.
The tears she wanted to shed did not flow.
The pain squeezing her heart did not stop.
But her mind would not quite down.
It still raged with a storm of questions?
Her mind went back to the time he tore her dori.
The time she came back home and found Payal's baraat had gone back and her mom and buaji and her relatives had battered her with their taunts and coldness.
The time goons had chased her and when that Shyam, of all the people, had saved her.
The humiliating fall from the window of AR designs
The time she had managed the car park in pouring rain
The humiliation of holding Lisa's fur coat
The anguish of being forced to wear short clothes for modeling, which she had rebelled against
Her near death in the collapsing building
The 101 'aukaad' and 'get out' dialogues
The Diwali near kiss and the slap of his engagement and cruel words
The trauma of the 'farak padta hai' incidents
The forceful contract marriage
And then...
She closed her eyes, unable to think of the one incident that hurt her beyond all this...
The day he had said 'You don't have a character Khushi' , the way he had discarded the stars and the way he had said that he was glad her dead parents were not alive to see this
Hadn't she overcome all this and loved him?
Had she not run behind him to prove her 'innocence'?
Hadn't she moved heaven and earth to save him?
Had she ever even thought she had never met Arnavji?
No
Because he might have given her pain, but he was the one her heart still beats for
He was the reason she wanted to see a new day
He was the reason she was happy she was born...
And today he said he wished she never existed...
Her legs moved of their own accord as she came to a decision...
Across the town Arnav was driving in a blind rage.
His sister's look as she had tried to kill her child.
Her half crazed face, haunted him
He wished he could make the pain go away
He wished he could reverse her fate and make her start a new life
Minus Shyam Manohar Jha and his villainous way
And the thought of Shyam was immediately replaced by Khushi's face
His Khushi!
And all the scenes from when he had met her came to his mind...
The time he tore her dori.
The time he had sent her video footage to TV.
The humiliating fall from the window of AR designs
The humiliation of holding Lisa's fur coat
The forced modelling
Her near death in the collapsing building
The 101 'aukaad' and 'get out' dialogues
The Diwali near kiss and the slap of his engagement and cruel words
The trauma of the 'farak padta hai' incidents
The forceful contract marriage
The time he had called her characterless
The way she had pleaded with him in the airport
The way she he had nearly died to save him...
Tears filled Arnav's eyes
He had done it again
Punished her for his Di and her rotten husband
Punished her to vent out his own pain
Put her second to his Di'
Tears filled Arnav's vision
Oh God!
What had he said!
Why had he said it!
He had questioned her very existence in this world.
Actually she should have said those words to him.
He had been the reason for all her pain in life.
And yet she had never said 'I wish I had never met you'.
He had to get to her, before she did anything rash
He took two steps at a time and raced up to their bedroom
'Khushi'.Khushi''' he screamed.
The first thing he noticed was the open cupboard with all her clothes gone
The second thing he noticed was the stars that had disappeared
The third thing he noticed was a letter on the bed.
In haste he picked it up
'I am going Arnavji'very far from your life. I don't want to add to your and Di's pain.
I want you all to be happy, in a life which does not have me. Good bye. May be in another life, we can be husband and wife and may be then you won't hate me for coming into your life''
Fear clutched his heart as he raced towards the car, grabbing his car keys. She could not have gone far. At the most she would be in Buaji's house.
He dialed Buaji's number. But no one picked up.
He raced towards Gupta house and knocked the door.
'Buaji is Khushi here?' he asked.
'Yes. But you cannot meet her Babua. Something has happened in that house. She told me she does not want to meet anyone from Raizada family ever,' she Said.
'Buaji I am her husband. I have right to meet her,' he thundered.
'Babua you may be her husband, but our sanka devi herself said she wants to meet no one. So, till she tells us the reason we wont let any of you meet her'.
Frustrated Arnav came back home. The whole room haunted him. Everything reminded him of her,
He smashed his fist into the wall where Salman Khan's poster stated back at him reminding him of his Khushi...
In the next couple of months, Arnav could not penetrate the wall of the Gupta house to gain an audience of Khushi.
She never picked his call.
He had sent Nani, Di, Akash and even Mamiji to pacify her, But she had refused to meet them.
He had tried his luck through Payal. But there was no luck with that either,
.
Payal told him Khushi had become stoic and numb. Nothing penetrated the wall she had created around her and she even avoided the family.
Arnav was at wits end. Time was running out. Six months would be over in a day and Khushi would be out of his life forever.
Desperate times called for desperate actions.
Having made up his mind, he went to the Gupta house.
'Babua, there is no point, Khushi bitiya has become even worse. She has refused to speak to anyone for ages. And at your very name she becomes even worse,' Buaji said.
'I don't care how long I wait. I don't care if I have to erect a tent outside your house. But today I wont leave without seeing Khushi,' Arnav threatened.
Buaji shrugged her shoulders and left to carry on her kitchen work. Good that Garima and Shashi babua were not here to see the condition of titaliya.
She had not informed them, neither had Payal, at Buaji's insistence. With Sashi babua going through treatment, Buaji did not want them troubled.
It was late in the night Buaji went to close the door and there sat Arnav in his SUV refusing to budge.
The motherly heart in Buaji melted at the sight of him. Whatever he had done to Titaliya, she knew one thing. This man loved her too. Should she give him a chance?
Why not? Maybe it would bring her titaliya back to normal?
Though it worried her, Buaji wanted to give it a try. Titaliya could not live like this longer. She could not bear to see it.
Khushi never spoke, She never laughed. She never cried. She never even said she was hungry.
She did her routine tasks and her duties. But she never showed any emotion and this worried Buaji.
'Arnav Babua. Go in. Go to my titaliya.
Give me back my titaliya if you can, the one who used to flutter about this world without a care. The one whose bright and beautiful presence lit up our world.
Please give me back that titaliya. Please,' she implored holding his hand.
Arnav felt tears prick his eyes.
He had crippled the wings of that butterfly'time for him to put them back'even if it took all his life.
He stepped into the dim lit room.
There she was on the bed, a faraway look in her eyes.
She looked as beautiful as ever. But she was much thinner than her already thin form.
There were visible dark circles below her eyes.
He approached the bed and said gently 'Khushi'.
She looked startled and looked at him. Arnav had switched on the lights to catch her reaction.
He did not miss the leap of joy in her eyes and the equally quick disappearance and how she looked away. Nor did he miss the fact that she still wore his sindoor and mangalsootra.
'Khushi. Wont you look at me?' he asked gently sitting beside her in the bed.
No response.
'Khushi don't you want to know how your laad governor lived after you left?' he asked
No response.
'Your laad governor wished everyday he could undo the wrongs he has done to his Khushi. He wished he could take back the words he had said in anger and say 'I am sorry Khushi'. But you never gave a chance,' he said.
No response.
'And with every sunshine I wished I could see your face and every sunset I slept with pain in my heart, because I did not see the one person who means more to me than even my Di,' he said.
He saw a slight movement in her face. But he did not get the reaction he needed.
'And Khushi everyday I wished I had never met you in my life,' he said. That made her turn around and look at him and he saw the tears well up in her eyes with hurt and pain.
'Because had I never met you, I would have never been to hell. I would have never known love. I would have gone on with my rude, arrogant life without wanting to change I would have never realized I can be so weak for a girl that since she left me, I wish I was not alive,' he said.
This time he saw her cry in earnest. He took her in his arms then and let the flood of tears break through. He gently soothed her like a child and kissed away the tears. He rocked her to sleep in his arms.
And after a long time her sobs subsided and he felt her gentle breathing. He laid her down against the pillows and lay down beside her, holding her hand with the fear of ever letting her go...
When she woke up in the morning, Khushi felt the heavy weight of an arm around her waist.
She shifted slowly to see if what had happened last night was true. There he was, her laad governor sleeping peacefully.
Her eyes drank in the details of his face. He looked so thin and tired. Gently she reached out to run her hands over his forehead. But she stopped.
In a day she would not be his wife.
With that realization she withdrew her hand, only to have it caught by Arnav.
'I am yours to touch. Yours to hate. Yours to love. Khushi don't go away from me again. I can't live without you. Will you marry me?' he asked.
She flung herself into his arms and said 'Yes'.
Arnav smiled down into her and said 'If there is another life and if circumstances were the same, I would still wish you had come into my life...Because without you there is nothing in my life...'
Writer: Rima
