The Changing Tides
Her touch was so gentle as she tended to his wound in the bathroom of AK's company. When he gasped from the pain she too was affected. And he knew instinctively that she was feeling it just as acutely as he was. But he still questioned how she could choose to hurt him in the worst way? She had left him with so many questions seven years ago; left him to live a half life. Left him desperate for any sign of her.
And when he finally found her it was to learn that she had given herself to another. But not just any other man; his biggest rival. He had the same passion and drive as him the bankers told him, but at that time Rishi did not know that he had his whole world with him. The beat to his heart was residing in his castle and he was not any the wiser.
Rishi had to laugh at the irony of it all. Had he even had an inkling of it at the time he got wind of AK's targeting of his business; he would have happily exchanged it all. He would have given anything to have her back. But alas, he could only wonder at the hand of destiny. Having him merge his business with the man that possessed his world. What did it all mean?
The day AK introduced Tanuja as his wife; Rishi felt his world shattering. Everything felt wrong; everything appeared distorted. It was as if he was looking at the lens from the wrong side. There she was so beautiful it made his heart ache yet another was claiming her to be his.
Dradum, dradum... his heart kept beating...
That must mean that what he was seeing had to be true. He felt rage envelop him as he contemplated the pair. As he watched her assert her rights over another; rights which belonged only to him. That was not all, she had even born him a child. Little cutie pie who charmed his heart from the first. The little spitfire in whom he saw a perfect mirror of himself. Now she presented the picture of what he and Tanuja could have had...
She formed part of the family snatched so cruelly from his hands. To this day he still did not understand why she left him in such anger. "I hate you!" How those words had tormented him for seven long years. Just what had he done to warrant that much disdain? She accused him of being untrue, of betraying her... he never understood. All he knew was that she boarded that train which took her miles away from him, put distance between them.
He had no idea how he survived those long years. He could not fathom the agony he had to endure as hours moved at a snail's pace. The only light in his dark world was his Tanya. She gave him purpose to exist and for her he could have an ounce of normalcy. Her and the hope of uniting with his one great love one day. Still, he wanted to give Tanya everything and that's why he gave her a mother in the form of Netra.
She had become a great friend and she was a good caregiver. In a lot of ways she was a companion but she could never take Tanuja's place. Rishi ensured she knew that and that she could never have a claim to his heart. His heart had always only beat for two women. His Tanuja, and Tanu before her. Just as their name, they merged into one and the same person for him.
Tanuja's mannerisms, her very essence was Tanu. He did not feel he loved two women because for him they were one and the same. For twenty years he had died alongside his Tanu, until the day Tanuja brought him back to life. From the first he was struck by how like Tanu she was but soon her face too was exactly like Tanu's.
For a while he would not listen to the call of his heart. But through many trials, his heart called out stronger and he could no longer deny it. And when his mother forced him to divorce Tanuja, his world crumbled. If only his mother knew that she was tearing apart his very soul. But as long as he had her by his side, he chose to live for those moments. He felt like he could breathe again, his heart came alive and he felt complete. But then she left him again for seven long years and he felt himself dying again.
He wished he did not misunderstand her so much then maybe she would have stayed. She had been protecting his properties from Purab's greedy grasp but he thought she wanted power. She acted differently, she looked different... but his heart told him she was still his Tanuja. He saw it in the way she showed him concern; he felt it in her touch... but his heart longed to hear her tell him those three magical words, if only for once.
He did not care about his wealth, all he wanted was her love. He wanted to be her everything. He kept pushing without realizing that he was pushing her over the limit. His heart told him that seeing her love should suffice but his ego wanted her to submit to him. And yes, he allowed Netra to come between them. But did she not know that the mere thought of another taking her place was laughable? How could she think that he would ever go through with the marriage?
But apparently she did. And she left him seemingly forever. Yes that was the explanation he gave himself. He reasoned she felt betrayed by his engagement to Netra and chose to walk away. That was the only thing that made sense. He could not think of anything else that would make her believe that he was untrue. And as the years passed he wished for just one chance to explain to her. He felt sure that he could convince her and his heart kept searching for its beat.
All he wanted was a sign to know that hi soulmate was back to him, any sign to let him hope. And after seven long years he got it even before seeing her. Her presence was signaled by the air itself. He knew with absolute certainty that she was back to him. But even as he had prepared himself for their eventual meeting, he could not know its direction. He had no control of the form... he just knew she was back.
He had dreamed so many scenarios of their eventual meeting so much that when she was before him he thought it to be a dream at first. It was storming and the lights were flickering, but there she was. The reason for the greatest storm in his heart was standing before him; in a daze he moved nearer not daring to blink so as not to disturb this wonderful dream. Then his phone started ringing, an unwelcome intrusion he daren't allow.
"I am really here Rishi" that made him dare move closer, to slowly touch. And as he fingers seared he knew it to be real. Only the feel of her skin could have that effect on him. Only with her was he so deeply connected that just a touch was enough; the same touch he felt at the airport and knew it to be her without seeing her face. The day he realized that she was once again breathing the same air as him.
None of what he imagined came to pass, but then again such was their story. Only she could manage to get on his nerves and make him want to kiss her in equal parts. She still had that infuriating habit of answering a question with a question. How could they get answers if they only asked questions? The biggest was why they had to be apart when their very souls screamed to be united.
It led to an argument and in his irritation he chose to take Netra's call. And so just as he had known, the dream ended when he answered his phone. But even with his mind racing, his heart danced. Soon he would have his answers, soon he would have her back and this time he would never let her go. Or so he thought, until that night he went to meet AK's family.
How was he to know that that meeting would tear at his soul? It burned to see her with him, he felt like tearing him apart limb from limb. He needed answers and he sought them but she was not giving him answers that would satisfy him. Enraged, he twisted her hand, let her taste an ounce of the pain that she was causing him. But he could never see her in pain and his heart still hoped that the picture she was painting was a mere ruse.
She was challenging him to find the real picture because he just could not accept the "reality." Yet her claims of loving AK kept flashing in his mind the next day he ended up breaking the glass making it pierce his skin. But that pain was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. Manpreet tried to explain why she would choose to replace him but his heart would not hear it. His Tanuja was only for him and she had to return to him at any costs.
He stormed out of the office and sped to her house in blind rage but as he parked outside and saw her by the window he felt a strange calm settle over him. Tanuja belonged only to him; they loved each other. Whatever appearances my tell, that was a truth indisputable. And they had defied odds worse than this. He only needed a chance to convince her. Yes it all seemed rather hopeless as another had claimed her as his. But his heart knew just as hers did that only the two of them were meant to be.
And now they were stuck inside the bathroom until the meeting going on in the other room was over. But to Rishi it was a sweet agony to have her so close. He had after all been wishing for just such a chance. This was his Tanuja, the woman who would risk her life, her honor, anything to save him. But right now it was up to him to save her, and to give their love a fighting chance. Without seeing her face he knew she was crying because the agony he felt at their circumstance was very much hers...
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Tanuja tried hard to control the emotional damn from exploding as they stood in the bathroom of AK's company. But really it was a build up of seven years. And being so close to him yet have so much distance between them was pure agony. She had been tormented by the memory of him in bed with Netra for so long but in her heart of hearts she wished it to be a lie. She wished everything to be a lie, except the two of them in their world.
It had not been easy to choose not to go back to him when she learned they created a life. Her precious Natasha, her little sunshine; the symbol of the love she fought even death to claim as her own. Yet destiny mocked her, seemed to laugh at her. The love she came back for was apparently a lie. But her heart refused to believe what was so obviously her reality.
In her heart the flames of the love she had always felt for him since her first life, burned just as ferociously. They refused to be doused by anything because even with distance so great, Rishi was still very much a part of her. A part that was growing insider her womb for nine months, and she had to face his eyes every time she looked at their precious angel.
The truth of that love faced her through Natasha who was growing to be just like her father each day. But she knew she could not afford to falter; she had be strong for her baby. She had chosen to keep this gift to herself because Rishi did not deserve it. She had enough savings to tie her over until after her baby was born. For a while it was just the two of them and she ensured that Natasha existed in a happy bubble and never realized her strife.
But as Natasha was growing so were her needs and she was forced to find work. It was not easy to find work that allowed her flexible hours so she could raise her baby but she had to manage. It was in that time that she landed the job of PA to Abhishek Khurana of Khurana industries. She had been the only applicant who did not entertain his advances during the interview so he hired her on the spot.
He was very demanding but the pay was good so she toughed it out. That was until Natasha fell very ill when she was around two years old. She needed an operation and Tanuja had no way of affording it. AK noticed that she was distracted and realized something was amiss because she was otherwise efficient. She ended up having a meltdown in his office and that's how AK came to learn of Natasha's illness.
A desperate Tanuja had been strongly contemplating contacting Rishi for help. Although she could could not move away from his betrayal it was a question of her daughter's life. So AK's offer was a welcome lifeline. And since that moment, their relationship shifted to that of friends. When he shifted to London and offered her a position as his caregiver, she accepted.
She still felt like Rishi was close by, that he would turn up at any moment. Putting an ocean between them was a welcome thought. And as Natasha grew she and AK formed a close bond and when Natasha addressed him as Papa, Tanuja allowed it. A part of her felt guilty for snatching her away from her father so she could at least offer her one who was just as loving and affectionate.
But even with so much distance, Rishi never left her memories, and he kept a stubborn hold on her heart. She realized how foolish she had been to think that an ocean between would make her forget him. Especially with Natasha as a constant reminder, the thread that forever linked her to him like nothing else could. The thread that gave her identity as a mother, bearing the child of her one true love. No, she was never away from him.
And now here she was seven years later. Still standing at the same place she had been seven years ago. Still hoping Rishi would provide answers for the questions swimming in her heart. The questions born from hope that perhaps things were not as they seemed. She still saw the same love in his eyes. She still saw that same desperation; she saw the same pain she felt seeing him with Netra when she was pretending to be AK's wife. And by his own admission he held Netra's hand to make her jealous.
But then they had a daughter. Netra too shared the very same claim on Rishi as she. Why was he pursuing her when he had given her rights to Netra. She herself had been witness to it and knew it could not be a lie. Tanya was the same age as Natasha, the dates fit perfectly. For all she knew they could have conceived her that night itself. But in the deepest corner of her heart she wanted to trust that maybe, just maybe things were not as they seemed.
And really she was getting tired of fighting with herself. Ever since she got back to India she had constantly run into him wherever she went. It was as if destiny was trying to remind her just why she had taken this birth. He was her destiny and no matter how far she went, she could not escape that truth. She had tried but here she was, back to him. She felt herself drawing closer to him with each passing day.
And it had been such a shock to her system to see him interacting with Natasha without their knowledge of their true relationship. From the moment she stepped foot on home soil, Natasha had been talking about a Mr. Handsome. How was Tanuja to know that fate had allowed father, daughter to meet at the very first opportunity? And not only that, but that they would get along so well?
But there they were, the two people she loved most, laughing and talking; discussing her without knowing that their Hitler was one and the same person. Although Abhishek was a great father, here she was getting a glimpse of what her baby could have with her own father. Without any action on her part, their natural bond was formed. How would her heart not rejoice at the sight?
For brief seconds, she allowed herself to live in the moment. The dream of what could have been when her world was in one place. If only she could freeze that moment and keep them there for all time. Alas reality wouldn't be denied as she recalled what Natasha had said about Mr. Handsome's daughter. A familiar ache settled in her chest at the realization that what she saw seven years ago had not been a lie. And the agony at that knowledge pierced as sharp as a needle. She did not need to see blood to know that her heart was bleeding...
Yet here they were stuck together in the bathroom. She closed her eyes at his branding touch to her skin; scorching her with the knowledge that she was his, body and soul. That his touch would always burn her and cause her an ache, painful yet pleasurable in the same breath. She shivered as he slowly wiped her tears. And as she looked into his eyes, she saw the same agony reflected back at her; she saw the same pain taking the form of tears.
Slowly, uncertainly, she lifted her hand to wipe his tears. He closed his eyes at her touch, gently grasping her hand to place a kiss in her palm; his breath hot on her hand. Unwittingly she inched closer to him as his hand came to rest on the small of her back. And in his eyes she saw the same longing she held to taste him, even if for a little while. He traced his fingers on her lips making her tinkle with want for him. Slowly his lips inched closer to hers.
She moaned into him as their lips touched, and as he deepened the angle for the kiss; his tongue delved into her mouth on pursuit of hers. As they tangled in a fierce battle of desire, they were closer than close. As their tears merged so did their pain and they felt it as one. Nothing else existed but their hearts beating at the pace of a galloping mare. Nothing else existed but the feel of each other after so long. For a brief moment they chose to exist in each other; only in the moment and not everything threatening to keep them apart.
The need for oxygen forced them to part and as they stood filling their lungs the magic of the moment was dripping away much like water from the hand. Tears filled her eyes as she quickly tried to move back even as he held onto to her waist. The painful memory that had forced her to leave returned and she recalled that the lips that just kissed hers had kissed another, and that the arms which held her had held another. He had made a life without her and she had no place in it.
She saw his eyes briefly cloud with confusion before pain took possession again. "The meeting is over Rishi we needn't hide anymore, take me home," she said removing his hands from her waist and pushing out of his arms. looking resigned he followed her out, and they exited the building slowly. As if some part of them still wanted to hold onto what had just taken place. The drive back was silent as she gave leave to the storm within, and only when he called out to her to let her know did she realize that he had brought her back home.
Home? Why did it feel like she was home right where she was? Why did it feel so wrong to get out of the car and leave him behind? Why did she have to come back for him if she was fated to always walk away from him? More questions added to the ones she already held. Yet she did not feel she was any closer to getting answers, not close at all.
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"Tanuja..." she started at the voice she knew by heart calling out her name. She was in her room with her back to the window after having put her princess to bed. Natasha was understandably miffed at her absence because she had never left her alone before. But Rishi as usual was turning her life upside down and making her act so out of character. And yes, adding to her confusion as she was beginning to question what she was to do; his betrayal was starting to feature less and less...
"We need to talk Tanuja..." she quickly rushed to lock her bedroom door so Natasha would not walk in to find her "Mr. Handsome in her mother's room, and the servants would not see him. When she turned around she did not see him by the window and wondered for a second if she had imagined him. A poke on the shoulder let her know of where he was, making her whirl around to face him.
"We have nothing to talk about Rishi" she stated taking a step back to create some distance but he mirrored her step by moving forward. "You are right, because our eyes do all the talking" he responded. Unlike earlier there was determination in his gaze; and she was certain he was not going to stop until he got what he came for. "Love, Rishi? Really? We would risk our lives for each other but we cannot even stand each other! It isn't love! It's madness!"
He grabbed her shoulder painfully making her wince as his other arm snaked around her waist. "Madness? Madness is it, when you feel the pain I feel?" angry tears were shining in his eyes as he shook her. "Madness is it, when you risk your life time and again to save mine? I know it was you that saved my life that day Tanuja! And do you know why? It is because our love is eternal! You were made for me, and I was made for you! Nothing and no one! not even that PK can tear us apart!" He released her as he said so making her stumble as she found her footing.
"Don't you dare take that condescending tone! His name is Abhishek Khurana, AK for short. And I have a lot of respect for him. He is a wonderful man, he would never betray me like you did!" She saw him flinching as if she physically slapped him before he collected himself and gave her a wistful smile. "Uh, yes of course! He would never give you thorns like I did, is that it Tanuja?"
She was reminded of the conversation they had the night he discovered that she was AK's "wife." Tears sprang up in her eyes as the picture of that chipkali clinging to his side came to mind. "Haan, he never gave me thorns. He always ascertained that all the thorns are removed and filled my life with wonderful fragrances," she smiled wryly, impatiently wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
"And if he gave you such a wonderful life, why is it I see love when you look at me?" She averted her gaze at his words. "You see what you choose to see," she returned and felt him move closer. "Achcha! Then why do you still wear the payal I gave you?" She shivered as he gently lifted the skirt of her dress to reveal the cursed payal; why had she not removed it when she got home?
His fingers were featherlight as he touched her chin and gently forced her gaze to face him. "Tanuja, could it be that you chose to look for thorns when what I was giving was flowers?" his lips gently pressed on her forehead before moving back to face her again. "Could it be that PK's love is only fragrance filled because only I have your heart?" his injured hand released her waist and settled on her chest right where her heart was racing. He took her hand and placed it on his chest where his heart was beating just as fiercely and as tears filled his own eyes too.
"Could it be that true love was never meant to be easy because nothing worth fighting for ever is?" he pecked each of her eyes as he said that moving onto to her cheeks, and slowly claiming her lips again. And for the second time withing hours he was kissing her again, and for the second time she was responding to his passion. After all it had been seven long years of wishing to be like this with him; wishing that he never betrayed her.
She stopped as the thought of his betrayal penetrated her mind again. And unlike the first time he allowed her to step back without protest. "I will allow you room for now jaan, but I am not giving up this time." The same determination filled his gaze as he spoke. "The tide is always changing, but this time it will be changing in our favour." He winked before moving to exit through the door; telling her in more than words that he did not care who found out about them because soon enough she was going to be his again.
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Tanuja smiled through her tears as she sat admiring her little angel. She had the urge to come to her room after Rishi left. Seeing her angelic face calmed her racing thoughts even as a storm kept on raging within. Whatever pain Rishi's love may have caused her, at least it gave her the most precious gift. And if they could create something so beautiful, maybe there was hope yet...
A soft breeze penetrated through the window in that moment making the curtains flap. That's when the moon beckoned to her from the clear night sky. As she stood gazing at it she thought of its symbolism in their love story. After all the moon did control the tides, just as it brought illumination to some things and casts others in shadow.
She was coming to realize that the moon was in control of their destiny more than she had thought before. And maybe just maybe everything would soon come to light and the confusion in their hearts would be cleared. Maybe, just maybe Rishi was right in saying that the tides may soon change in their favour. And as she stood looking to the moon hope lit up in her soul, and she felt connected to her Rishi more than she ever had been. She had no idea where they would end up, but tonight she was certain that their destiny was linked with the changing tides.
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A few miles away at his house, Rishi too stood gazing at the same moon with a smile on his face. A lot may seem murky but he felt he had the most clarity tonight. Because tonight he had learned what mattered most. His Tanuja was still very much his and still spoke the same language of love as he did. As long as that was clear, nothing was impossible. And he had faith that very soon he would be living out his love story with his one true, and eternal love. Because yes, finally he had faith that they would have the favor of the changing tides.
~The End~
Writer : Tessaloni
