"What are you doing?", I hear Purvi asking.
"Nothing", I say and hide my diary.
"Don't lie to me. I know you were seeing his photo"
"OK you caught me", I tell her and put my hands up in a sarcastic way.
"Why did you say no then?", she asks as she sits near me on my bed.
"I don't want to get married now."
"Don't lie again"
"I am not lying"
"You are", she says firm in her opinion.
"It's for his good. For him."
"What good did you get by rejecting his marriage proposal? Don't you see that he is heartbroken? Even his parents look sad that you rejected the proposal"
"Look at the other side of the coin"
She looks at me puzzled and I tell her how because of my rejection, Abhishek's dad allowed him to go to Pune and how joining the music college was one of Abhishek's dreams.
"What good does it do for you?", she asks me with a worried face.
"He will be happy and that will make me happy", I smile to myself.
"Pragya", my mom calls me for dinner.
***
"All the best", I tell him as his train arrives at the station. He looks at me with a sad face and I tell him to be happy as he is moving towards his goal of becoming a Music Director.
I know he is sad because of me. He didn't expect that I would say 'No' to his parents when they came with the idea of getting me and Abhishek married. We were best friends from childhood and everyone expected me to tell 'Yes'. But I didn't want him to get tangled with family responsibilities. He needs to pursue his dream without any burdens. I know I should tell him the reason behind my denial but he wouldn't agree with it. If I tell him that I didn't agree to marriage for him, he would say that he could manage personal as well professional life efficiently and would try to convince me. But he is my best friend and I know, he can't manage. Moreover, if we had got married, he wouldn't have left his job and joined a music college.
"Chashmish", he says and my train of thoughts get broken. He looks at the train and I realize he has to leave as I hear the announcement. I say bye and he boards the train. I turn around and remove my glasses before wiping my tears. I feel something strange and turn back. He gives me a tight hug and says that he would miss me. I stand still while he runs and boards the train which had started moving. I wave my hand at him until I see him fading away into distance.
***
I wake up to the sound of my home's landline phone ringing. I look at the clock and it shows 12 am. My parents were not at home and I wonder why are they calling at this time assuming it must be them.
"Hello", I say and I hear a familiar voice on the other side but I panic because the person is crying.
"Abhishek", I begin to freak out as he tells me nothing but sobs.
"I shouldn't have come here", he tells me after a couple of minutes.
"Why? What happened?"
"This place. These people. They are not good. I shouldn't have come here."
"Please tell me what happened"
"I am not fit for this place", he tells me loudly. I tell him to calm down and not to think negative about anything. After a few good minutes, he apologizes to me saying that he shouldn't have called me at this time. He tells me that he just got emotional and he is absolutely fine.
"I am absolutely fine", this words are echoing in my ears and don't let me concentrate on my work. He called me yesterday night and it's 1.30 pm. More than 12 hours, I have been thinking about him. What could have happened there that he got so emotional? I think of calling the hostel where he is staying to talk to him but then drop the idea. I look at the clock again and decide that I need to do this.
I reach his hostel by 5 pm and wait for him near the reception. Since it's a men's hostel, I feel a little uncomfortable about waiting in the place for more than few minutes. Two hours passed but he didn't come yet. My mind starts racing thinking about the last train from Pune to Mumbai. When the clock strikes 9 pm, I make up my mind to go back to Mumbai as per the hostel warden's advice. I start walking out of the compound. I feel hungry and decide to go to a nearby hotel before going to the railway station as there is enough time for the next train. That's when I see him getting beaten by few people on road. I quickly hurry towards him but the guys leave before I go near him.
"Abhishek. What's happening here?", I ask him as I kneel down to help him get up.
"What are you doing here?", he asks me another question instead of answering my question. He wipes the blood on his mouth and kind of pushes my hand away when I try to wipe the blood on his forehead.
"What's happening here? Who are these people? Why did they beat you?", I fire questions at him but he looks at me with pain filled eyes. He tells me to go home as we could talk about it later. But I remain adamant and tell him that he should tell me. He tries to send me home but when I don't pay heed to his words, he shouts at me.
"This is all because of you", he shouts.
"Me?", I ask him shocked.
"You shouldn't be here now. I am sorry. Please go now", he tells me the next second.
"I am not going anywhere until you tell me what you meant by this is all because of me"
He sighs.
"Because if you had agreed to the marriage, I wouldn't have come here. I wouldn't have been a loser like this. I would have been a failure that I am. Why did you say no?", he tells me. I remain silent as I get hurt by his words. He comes to me and tells sorry again. He tells that he is feeling frustrated and asks me whether I don't know that he talks rubbish when he is emotional. I don't respond to him and stand still with my arms crossed. As he comes closer, I turn my face away. He holds my face in his hands and makes me face him.
"You know me, right? You know that I don't mean those words. Can't you understand that I am in pain? You really need an explanation? I am really sorry", he says and I look down taking his hands off my face.
"It's getting late. I have to go back", I say.
"You came all the way to Pune to tell this?"
"I was waiting for you since 5 in the evening and you come late to blame me?"
"It would be late when you reach Mumbai. How did Aunty Ji allow you?"
"They are not at home"
"It's good then", he smirks.
"What's good? I am not going to stay here", I frown at him.
"Who asked you to stay? By the way, I stay in a boys hostel. Even if you wish, you can't stay here"
"I don't wish to"
"I will accompany you to the railway station"
"No need. First go to a medical shop and get your wounds cleaned", I tell him but he doesn't listen to me and starts walking with me. I board an auto to the railway station and he gets into the auto along with me ignoring my angry stares at him.
We reach the railway station and as I look into my handbag to take my purse, I see him open his purse and stop.
"Why are you looking at me? Pay him", he tells me taking a bubble gum from his wallet.
"Who would keep bubble gum inside wallet?", I ask him irritated.
"Me. Abhi, the future music sensation of India"
"No! Loser, failure", I taunt him.
"You being with me just feels so good. Why do you have to spoil it now?", he says sincerely.
"I didn't start it."
"How many times should I say sorry?", he says as I stand in the ticket queue.
"Sorry doesn't make a wrong 'right'."
"OK. What do you want me do now?"
"Tell me what's happening here"
He goes silent.
"You call me in the middle of the night and cry. Then say sorry. I come to meet you the next day, I see you fighting with people and when I ask you what's the problem, you accuse me. Then say sorry."
I stop talking to him as I reach the ticket counter and buy myself a ticket to Mumbai.
I go and sit on a bench in the platform.
"There's so much politics here. You can't win with just talent. And the people here they look at me like I am some alien'. They never leave an opportunity to mock me. I feel like a duffer all the time.", he says sitting behind me.
"You really talk like a stupid now", I say.
"What?"
"Thank god I didn't say yes to marriage"
"What are you talking about?"
"You are a coward. You are afraid of problems."
"I am not a coward"
"Yes you are"
"Stop calling me coward", he says irked.
"You are a coward and that's why I am calling you coward"
He raises his hand to slap me but stops.
"Why did you stop? Slap me na. You can slap only me. When those guys were beating you, were your hands tied up? If people mock you, you either ignore them or give it back to them. But their words affect you so much that you start believing them."
He leaves the place and I don't stop him.
***
The phone in my office cabin rang and I picked up.
"Hello", I say.
"Hello", I say the same in a croaked voice as I heard his voice after 3 long weeks.
"This is coward speaking", he says.
"Abhishek"
"Happy Birthday"
"Hmm"
"You should at least learn to say Thank You"
"It's 3 pm now"
"So?"
"You wish me at 3 pm and expect me to say Thank You?"
"It's still your birthday"
"..."
"Hello"
"Yes. I am on the line"
"Sorry. I would have wished you at 12 am but then I slept off"
"I don't expect you to wish me at 12 am but you could have wished me at least in the morning"
"Arghh... Why don't you understand? I was in the hospital. Just now I came out", he says in anger.
"Hospital? Why?"
"Why do you always make me talk more than I want?", he grumbled.
"Just tell me why were you in hospital?", I say aloud that the staff outside look towards my cabin.
"I got into a fight"
"Fight?"
"A guy kept irritating me by mocking me. So I followed your advice."
"My advice?", I ask him as I am clueless.
"You told me to give back na"
"I didn't tell you to pick up fights", I argue.
"What else did you mean by calling me coward'?"
"You know what I meant. Stop twisting my statements"
"Fine. Let's leave this. It's your birthday"
"Then why did you start?"
"I shouldn't have called to wish you. Ouch"
"What happened?"
"Somebody hit my injured hand accidentally"
"Go to hostel and take rest. Don't roam around"
"OK Madam. You take care too"
***
1 year later
I step out of my office in the evening and just when I am about to say bye to my colleagues, Abhi comes there and drags me to his motorbike.
"Abhishek, what are you doing? What will people think?"
"Everyone knows we are best friends. Of course, they know this too. That you rejected my marriage proposal. So no one would mistake", he says sitting on the motorbike. Then as soon as he sees my dull face on the mirror, he turns back to me.
"Sorry Chashmish! You know na. Sometimes I talk before I think"
I sit on his motorbike and keep asking him where we are heading to but he doesn't say. He stops because the traffic ahead is not moving at all. He seems to be in a hurry and I lose patience as he says that time is running for the 8th time. I ask him what is he worrying about. But then he parks his vehicle at a corner and takes me to a Television showroom.
"Now why are we here?", I ask him as he looks at the televisions kept for display.
"This one!", he says and asks the salesman to talk about that particular TV he is pointing to.
"But it doesn't seem to have good audio quality", he frowns and the salesman increasing the TV's volume while lowering others.
As I see the programme on the TV, I understand what he is upto. Abhishek's band had participated in a music competition by a TV channel. But on the day of telecast, I couldn't see it because of the power cut in my house. He would have probably found out that the programme is being re-telecasted now and that's why he was rushing. Abhishek is trying his best to keep the salesperson engaged but I don't feel good. So I go to the showroom manager and tell him my intentions. I tell him that I would even pay him if he wants after saying how happy I would be if he lets us watch the programme. He seemed to be kind and he allowed us to watch.
I am so happy after watching his performance. He looks very different when he is doing music. It's like he is in some other world unreachable to me.
"You could have told me that we are going to watch your show. I was panicking for nothing", I say as we travel to our home. Though I can't see him, I could feel that he is smiling.
"I want to ask you something", I pause.
"What?", he asks
"You are so interested in showing your music performance to me. Why?"
"Because it makes me happy", he says and I am appalled.
"Don't think too much. It makes you happy so you being happy makes me happy", he says and I am even more surprised.
***
3 years later
"Here's your ticket. Uncle and Aunty are on the way. They'll be here in any minute", he says.
"You are taking revenge, aren't you?", I say.
"What do you mean?"
"I rejected you once. That's why you are doing this", I start crying not being able to handle anymore.
"Pragya", he says trying to make me face him.
"Stop calling me Pragya", I say angrily.
"Why? I thought you liked it."
"I like it but don't call me Pragya"
"What happened?"
"You don't love me?", I ask him directly.
"You are going to get engaged to someone else"
"No, I am not."
"I know you are feeling guilty about rejecting me. But trust me. I am over it. It's been 4 years. You shouldn't think about it anymore."
"What I feel for you is not guilt. It's love. Why don't you understand? Or is that you are becoming a celebrity now that you don't like me?", I shout at him and he stands shell-shocked.
"You must be confused now. Don't let your emotions take over you."
"What would I be confused about? I am clear about my feelings"
"He is a good guy. He is settled. He has a good family."
"Hell with good guy. I love you", I tell him again.
He facepalms and walks away from me.
He comes back to me and says that my parents might be coming anytime and I should stop crying.
"Just tell me one thing. Do you love me or not?"
"Pragya! This is not the time to talk"
"This is the time"
"CHASHMISH! Why don't you understand that what I am doing is for you? It's for your betterment.", he shouts at me.
"For me?" I ask him puzzled.
"I... I...", he stammers.
"Tell me what do you mean by for me?", I hold his collar.
"I am not good for you Chashmish. You deserve better. You deserve a person who thinks before he talks. You deserve a person who doesn't hurt you...", he began.
I don't hear anything else after that as I hug him. I could see his hands raising up to hug me back from the corner of my eyes but then they stop in mid-air.
"Chashmish! You should stop hugging me. Chashmish! Your parents are coming", he says trying to get me off him.
As my parents come, I wipe my tears and get on the train with them. I should have confronted him earlier. I curse myself for being late.
But I am determined to explain my situation and tell 'No' to the guy I am going to meet. How stupid would I have been to not even look at the guy's photo and say 'Okay' for the proposal just because I was angry with Abhishek.
We reach Palgarh and I am very nervous about meeting the guy because my mom said that he is our close relative. I shouldn't make it a problem. I prayed to god to be with me.
When I step into Mamaji's house, I hear him say that the guy is waiting for me at the terrace. To my embarrassment, my cousins tease me that I am going to meet my fiance alone.
Fiance? What fiance? We are not even engaged. I get enraged at their comments but I don't show it because all I want now is to talk to him and get out of this problem.
I walk to the terrace and see him standing with his back facing me.
"Have I seen you already?", this is the first question I ask the guy.
"Abhishek", I call him shocked.
"Surprise", he says cheekily and I couldn't be madder as well as happier in my life than I feel at the moment. I run to him and hug him tight. But as the realization hit me that he had played me, I pull off him.
"I lied", he says.
"Yes", I say angrily.
"So did you like my revenge?", he teases me and I decide to get even with him.
"So what about those 'you deserve better 'dialogues? They were all just drama", I turn away pretending to be angry.
"No", he says and hugs me from behind.
"You deserve someone better than Abhishek"
I turn around to look at him in shock.
"That's why you are here now. With Abhishek version 2.0. It's improvised FOR YOU", he says.
Before I could tell anything further, our lips meet and my world falls away.
Writer: Nive
