He had to get away from here. He didn't even know why he had come here in the first place. Actually he did.. He had come to apologize.. To a woman he thought he had hurt the feelings of.. But he was so wrong.. If anything had been hurt, it was only Ms. Kumud Vidyachatur Desai's ego. Ms. Kumud Vidyachatur Desai! Saras thought angrily as he made his way to the balcony. A fleeting voice passed through the periphery of his memory.. "You are no longer Kumud Vidyachatur Desai.. You've become Kumud Saraswatichandra Vyas.." Vidya Kaka's joy filled voice echoed in the recesses of his mind. Kumud Saraswatichandra Vyas. Saras stopped in his tracks at the foot of the staircase. What was wrong with him?
A gust of wind blew in from the large open verandah and a rugged piece of paper floated in from somewhere. Saras bent down and picked it up. He was about to turn it over when Kumari came calling out to him in her ever-cheerful voice. "Jeejaji!" she said literally skipping towards him with a glass in hand. Despite his inner turmoil, he could not help but smile at her. Everyone here had been so nice to him; for the first time in a very long time, he had felt like he was in the midst of family. Yet, the two people who he wanted acceptance from.. He forced the thoughts of Maee and Kumud away from his mind. "Jeejaji! Here you go!" Kumari said handing over the tall glass to him. "Its milk with turmeric. You've done such strenuous work today. This will help you regain your strength!" Saras was going to refuse and say that he was alright and did not need the turmeric milk but Kumari did not let him speak. "Arey Jeejaji! What is this you have in your hand?" Kumari asked taking the sheet of paper from him. "Oh! This is Kumud Didi's sketch!" she exclaimed excitedly. Even as he told himself he shouldn't care, Saras found his eyes darting towards the paper. The one glimpse of the sketch he had stunned him. He took the paper back from Kumari and stared at it astonished. The sketch, though incomplete, looked a lot like.. like him! "You know what Jeejaji? Kumud Didi made this sketch even before she'd seen your photo,.. She said she had seen you in her dreams.. And ever since she saw your photo, she knew you were the man of her dreams.. She's been living in her dream world ever since," Kumari giggled excitedly while Saras stood there like he had been punched in his gut. "Oh and please don't tell Kumud Didi that I told you all this or else she'll kill me!.. She acts like she doesn't care on the outside but the truth is she has been in love with you long before she even knew you.." Kumari exclaimed with unbridled happiness. Saras could only keep staring at the sketch.
***
"She acts like she doesn't care on the outside but the truth is she has been in love with you long before she even knew you.." Kumari's voice kept echoing in Saras' head as he paced the length of his room. His packed suitcases lay ready on the bed but he could think of nothing else except what Kumari said. The sketch Kumud had made lay on his dresser. He picked it up. Was it true? Had Kumud really seen him in her dreams before she'd ever met him? Had she really fallen in love with him? Was that why his rejection had hurt her so bad? She had said yes to him without even seeing his whole face and he.. He had rejected her even without seeing her. It wasn't her ego that he had hurt, he had broken her dreams.. And her heart..
The mellifluous chiming of her anklets broke into his train of thoughts ' the one sound that brought peace to the ever-raging storm in his heart. He closed his eyes and listened. He could picture her in his mind's eye ' walking with that inherent grace and pride that he had come to recognize as uniquely hers; as the challa at her waist chimed with each step she took and with every rustle of wind. He was drawn to the sound like a moth to fire. He opened his eyes and saw her at the door of his room. After their heated exchange earlier that afternoon, the tension between them was so thick it was almost tangible. "Bapu.." she finally spoke up. "Bapu is calling you downstairs," she said, not meeting his gaze. Saras just stood watching her, unable to say anything. She was beautiful ' more beautiful and graceful than anyone he had ever seen in his whole life. Getting no response from him, she decided she had done what she'd come to do and made a hasty exit, not wanting to spend another moment with the man who had so ruthlessly crushed her dreams and broken her heart. As she turned and fled, she did not notice the challa at her waist unhook and fall to the ground.
Saras stepped out of the room and picked up the challa before catching a fleeting glimpse of her hurriedly receding figure.
***
"Come on! Come on you two! Hurry up! Hide!" Vidyachatur whispered urgently as he dragged Saras and Kumud and ushered them away. When Saras had finally made it down from his room, Vidyachatur had announced that they were all going to play a game of hide and seek. In any other family, in any other place, it would have sounded outrageously silly.. But Saras had come to accept and love the fact that the Desai family found happiness in small things; which wasn't difficult for them because their true happiness lay in their togetherness and the simple, unconditional love they had for each other. So now, as a blindfolded Kusum was entrusted with the task of finding them, all of them had to hide from her. Not all that familiar with the house himself, Saras decided to follow Kumud. Except that she had taken off all of a sudden. "Kumud?" he whispered as he walked down an abandoned hallway he had seen her rushing towards before disappearing. "Kumud?" he tried again. He was about to call out to her a third time when a hand reached out and pulled him into a room. Saras was going to yell when Kumud placed her finger over his lips as her eyes darted nervously around to make sure no one had spotted them and she closed the door carefully. It was only when she turned back towards Saras that she realized how close they were. She immediately withdrew her hand and looked away. "I don't like to lose," she said a few moments later as Saras continued to look at her with his intense, hooded gaze.
Kumud felt a blush crawl up her skin and flood her cheeks. Why? Just why did he have to have this effect on her? She wondered as she moved to the far corner of the room away from him. There was something about him ' the hooded gaze, the storm raging in his eyes, the aura of suppressed power and rage that exuded from him, the rough masculinity of his voice ' something or maybe everything about him that disconcerted her. Even when she waged a war of words with him, she was acutely aware of him. His gaze remained unwaveringly on her and she turned away from him. Maybe she should just step out and let Kusum find her so that she wouldn't have to be in such close proximity to him. The storeroom was large but with him in the room, it felt as if no space could be large enough to diffuse the currents of tension and awareness between them.
"I saw your sketch," he said softly; his voice sending off tiny sparks all over her. She turned towards him with a questioning glance. "Is it true that you made that sketch before you even saw me?" he asked taking a step towards her. Her breath caught in her throat.. How on earth did he..? "I am asking you something Kumud.." he said still coming towards her. Part of her wanted to back away from him; but her pride made her stay put. "It does not matter.." she said looking away. He kept coming towards her. "And what if it does?" he asked, his intense gaze piercing through every defense of hers till she felt her soul lay bare for him to see. "No! It doesn't.." she said with as much determination as she could muster; even as she swallowed nervously. He was closing in on her and she really had to fight down her urge to flee. "Look at me Kumud," he commanded softly. Her stubborn streak made her want to turn away at his command but she felt powerless as his cool hand caressed her chin and forced her to look at him. She met his eyes defiantly; fighting down the shockwaves his touch sent down her spine to every nerve in her body. "It means nothing. Like you said.. Our relationship is like a torn kite ' it does not matter whether it exists or not.." she said as she tried to walk away from him.
The hand on her waist that stopped her from walking away was warm and strong. Kumud felt flames scorch through her being at the intimacy of the touch; like all her senses and sensations had pooled to that length of her skin where his hand lay on her waist; the sheer dupatta doing nothing to attenuate the impact. She did not dare to turn and look at him as he pulled her towards him. His husky voice whispered over her earlobe, "I also told you that you couldn't just walk away from everything." Kumud desperately hoped that he wouldn't hear her heart thudding like crazy in her chest. She hoped that he would somehow not notice the goose bumps erupting on her skin as his voice washed over her. She hoped that he would be unaware of the havoc he was causing her senses.
But Saras saw and felt everything. From the tremor that ran down her spine at his touch, to the way her breath hitched and color flooded her cheeks.. He was aware of everything she was going through. Just as he had been aware of the pain in her heart when he spoke to her for the first time.. What was it that was between them? Never had he ever imagined that he would behave so outrageously with a woman. But Kumud was becoming more and more of an attraction he could not resist. And it wasn't just attraction.. There was so much more between them.. So so much more between them..
"What do you want?" she had intended that to come out as an angry question, but it sounded more like a husky plea. "Please! Just.. Just.. Leave me.. Let me be.. Just go away!" she managed to say, her hand now covering his on her waist, trying ineffectually to free herself from his hold. Saras watched her unfazed. "I have something with me that belongs to you.." he said. Kumud finally mustered the courage to turn towards him but he did not move his hand away from her waist. The intensity in his eyes was heart stopping. Very slowly, he removed his hand from her waist, almost as if he were tracing its contours. Kumud shivered visibly. Saras reached into his shirt pocket and brought out her challa. Kumud's eyes widened in recognition and she immediately looked at her waistline. It was indeed her challa. She raised her hand to take it from him. He shook his head and Kumud stood perplexed. Ever so gently, he leaned forward. His fingers traced their way along her waistline and he tucked the challa in at its rightful spot.
A soft gasp escaped her lips as Kumud closed her eyes and thought she would die from the sensations that were blazing through her. There was no anger, no hesitance, no awkwardness in his touch. It was a gentle, sensuous, lover's touch ' like he had every right to do so, like he knew he had every right to do so. And in that one moment, Kumud knew that she would never feel this way for anyone else. Even if their story was doomed for failure, she could only ever have a story with him ' her story began and ended with him.
Saras watched her with hooded eyes. Her closed eyes, her flushed face, her slightly parted lips, her labored breaths ' desire like he had never felt before uncoiled within him. This was the woman who brought out the worst in him but she was also the only woman who had ever made him feel alive, want to live.. And to love.. His gaze roamed over the flawless perfection of her face unabashedly, his hand still at her waist. They were standing so close, the distance between their faces was just a breath. Their breaths intermingled and her soft feminine fragrance clashed with his clean masculine scent, sending both of their senses into a tizzy.
Neither Saras nor Kumud could fathom what would have happened if the boisterous cheering from outside hadn't broken into their moment. At the noise of the loud cheering, Kumud's eyes flew open and she backed away from Saras. Saras stood still, watching her. She looked away, flushed and overwhelmed. She rushed to the door, opened it and ran away, the challa and her anklets chiming with each step she took away from him. "Your voice brought me here.. But your face.. Your face it seems will hold me captive all my life.." Saras whispered to Kumud's receding figure.
