Jeevansanghini
"Sameer woh photo dekhi tume ? Nanaji asked to Sameer, who was busy getting ready for the office.
"Nanu , kitni baar kahan hai aapko jo accha lage aap haan kardo mujhe koi problem nahi hai " ,
"Beta yeh teri zindagi ka sawaal hai, teri marzi bahut zaroori hai." Nanu tried to explain him that marriage is an important step and selecting your partner plays a vital role and affects your future.
Nanu was Sameer's world and his happiness meant everything. For Sameer marriage was just another task that he was doing to fulfill his Nanu's wish .
" Aapko pasand hai na ? aur aap mere liye koi galat faisla kaise lenge? , he argued.
" Ladki to bahut acchi hai aur bahut sidhi hai, pichle ek saal se dekh raha houn mai ". Nanu gave his reasons for choosing her and what made him think she was suitable for his Sameer. Even though he had given his consent to Agarwal’s he wanted Sameer to see her
"Phir bhi aaj sham mein ek baar dekh le aur uske baad baat aage badhayenge " Nanu suggested and handed him the envelope to just see her photo.
"Thik hai , Love you Nanu" , giving a quick peck he left.
Nanu was extremely happy that Sameer was able to manage the business and now the only thing he wanted his grandson to have was Love, love of a partner. His heart was at peace finally his grandson had agreed for marriage and hoped all would go well.
"School mein to ek dum alag thi, aur ab itni khoobsurat ,yeh wahi Naina Agarwal hai ? Yakin karna muskil hai " he contemplated looking at the photo Nanu had given.
The Agarwal family was very happy that their daughter was getting married into a well known family of Ahmedabad.
"Naina aise kyun baiti hai ? Tujhe to khush hona chahiye ki teri shaadi Sameer se ho rahi hai. Tu toh school ke dino se usse chahati hai na ? " Preeti asked seeing Naina who was lost in some other world.
Yes she loved Sameer since school days .He was her world since the day she had seen him and fallen for him. He had never spoken to her , may be she never existed in his world. Moreover he was the most eligible bachelor ,he could marry any beautiful girl. Why had he agreed to marry her? She was an average looking girl with a middle class background. Was it only because his Nanu had liked her?
" Unhe Mai pasand houn ya nahi ? Bas yahi sawal pareshan kar raha hai . " She said with worry . Preeti understanding her concern assured her she was the most beautiful person with a golden heart. Sameer is so lucky to have her as his life partner.
"Tu bekar mein pareshan ho rahi hai, aaj sham mein Jijaji milne aayenga to puch lena " saying this she pulled her to check what was pending from the list that they had prepared for shopping.
That evening Sameer and Nanu visited the Agarwal family as per the plan. The extra attention everyone showered on Sameer made him more uncomfortable. How he wished if could run away from all this. With a fake smile he kept answering in yes, no or a brief reply to all the questions.
Later when Naina was bought in by Preeti , Sameer observed her carefully while she walked towards them. The orange color of the saree gave an extra glow to her face. Her hair was tied in a long plait and she had applied light make-up. She looked simple and beautiful. “Photo se bhi khoobsurat lag rahi hai”he said to himself.
After some time Nanu suggested "Naina aur Sameer ek baar akele mein baat kar le to accha hoga. Maine to Naina ko dekha hai bas dono bache raazi ho jaye to baat aage badha sakte hai " to which everyone agreed.
Once in their room alone, sitting with her on the bed, he didn't know how to proceed. Even Naina did not initiate any talk.After few minutes of silence and looking here and there, he asked her"Tumko yeh rishta pasand hai na? , mera matalb mujhe janti nahi ho , toh tumhe koi problem to nahi hai??" , she just nervously nodded her head vertically and horizontally . He was confused whether to take it as yes or no? . After a few minutes of silence he asked her again "Tumhe kuch puchna hai " ?She just moved her head horizontally looking at the floor.
He thought "Will life be more like a silent movie in which he will be talking and the response will always be a sign language. How is he going to tell her that he is not yet ready for marriage" . Seeing that there was no conversation happening between them "Tumhe to kuch bolna nahi hai , chale bahar ? " with a slight agitation in tone he said and got up.
When asked about the decision he just nodded yes not knowing what to say. Later there were some talks about the next steps and Panditji informed that the there was a very auspicious mahurat after two weeks. After a bit of discussion on how to arrange everything within a short time , the date was agreed . Things were moving really fast, Sameer felt as if his life was slipping away but looking at the happiness on his Nanu's face he agreed to all that was said.
Naina was upset even though there was so much to say and ask she could not muster courage and talk to him even a single sentence. She scribbled something on a paper and handed to Preeti along with a small packet to give it to Sameer.
Preeti teased "Abhi se love letter, sahi jaa rahi hai behen " . Preeti handed to Sameer the piece of paper secretly.
While on their way Sameer opened the chit that Preeti had handed to him " Jab aap akele honge , gift bag mein kuch rakha hai aapke liye dekh lijiye " . When he reached home Munna and Pandit were already waiting for him. When they inquired about his meeting with Naina. Sameer a bit concerned told them that there was no interaction and his dilemma.
"Arey achanak tujhse milna huva to darr gayi hogi , thoda time de dheere dheere baat hogi " they tried to convince him.Assuring Sameer that all will be fine, they left.
When alone in his room he opened the gift bag .He found a small book in a red cover, it looked more like a dairy and there was a note attached to it. " Is diary mein mere dil ke saari baatein hai jo aaj tak mere dil ne mehsoos ki hai , Sorry aaj kuch baat nahi kar payi , woh thoda darr gayi thi" .
"Darr gayi?? Mai kya khaa jata " saying this he opened the book.
The first page was dated the day he had joined the school
"Aaj pehli baar dekha unhe, pata nahi dil kyun dhadka itni zor se? Yeh mere favorite hero Salman jaise dikhte hain isliye ya phir mere dil ko bhaa gaye?. Books ke baare mein mai hi batana chahati thi par beech mein Kamya ne aake sab bata diya. Baat hi nahi kar payi"
Oh she had observed and liked him from day one. And why was she addressing him as "Unhe" ??" . He smiled and then went to read the next entry she had made after a few days.
"Inhe koi accha dost nahi mila kya? itne ladke hai baat kar letein yeh Kamya se kyun dosti ki hai?. Kaise hans rahe the uske saath , mann to kar raha tha jake Kamya ki chotti pakad ke wahan se le jaoun"
He laughed reading it and then said “Jealousy !! ??”She didn't like him talking to other girls , interesting?"
"Aaj din accha nahi hai ! Kamya keh rahi thi ki Sameer ne usse foreign ke chocolates diye hai aur chocolates ushi hi ko detein hai jisse hum pyar kartein hai . Aisa kaise pyar ho gaya ? Aur chocolate dene se pyar hai yeh kisne kahan? Kamya jhooth hi bol rahi hogi . Sameer to aisa nahi kar sakte. kya pata Kamya ne apne baatoun mein phasaya hoga. Waise yeh foreign ke chocolates hamare yahan ke chocolates se alag hotein hai kya? "
He smiled at the innocence of this girl. With every page he got know about her thoughts, her small desires and he could sense that her life existed around him only.
"Aaj zor se baarish ho rahi thi, pata hai Sameer ko jaldi hi sardi lagti hai , maine suna tha jab woh bata rahe the Munna Pandit ko. Maine apna chaata unke desk pe chod aayi . Accha huva woh lekar gaye aur bheege nahi. Aur unki sardi mujhe lag gayi , par unke liye yeh sardi kya cheez hai. pyar ise hi kehte hai na? "
Oh she had left the umbrella purposefully but hadn't she said she had left it in the class? Next day he had seen her sick. Could anyone love him so much?
"Aaj mai bahut khush houn , unhone mere haathoun se banaya huva aloo paratha khaya aur unhe bahut accha bhi laga tha.Maine unke liye pehli baar note chodi thi, left hand se likha tha ki handwriting se pehchane nahi. "
That day he had left home without breakfast after fighting with his mother. To worsen his mood canteen was closed as some relative of the owner had died. When he had come back to his desk he had found paratha rolled in a paper torn from book with a note "Kha li jiye " . He really had enjoyed it and then announced whoever has secretly given " Dil Se Thank you " .
There were other couple of incidents in which she had taken scolding’s at home for him , how she had secretly done his assignments and kept in his bag to save him from teacher’s wrath. Many a times he had received calls and heard songs like " Aane wala pal jaane wala hai" or "Zindagi kaisi hai yeh pehli" whenever she had seen him upset . On her School farewell day she had dressed especially for Sameer and wanted to talk or at least say "hi" to him. Sameer couldn't attend the farewell as he had to take care of Nanu. Sameer had left to study abroad after that.
She had written this song dedicating to him and changing a bit to state her condition.
Phooloun ke rang se Dil ki kalam se
Tujhko likhi roz paathi
Kaise bataoun kisi kis tarahse
Pal Pal mujhe tum satate
Tere hi sapne lekar ke soyi teri hi yaadoun mein jaagi
Tere khayaloun mein uljhi rahi jaise ke maala mein dhaaga
Haan Badal Bijli chandan paani jaisa mera pyar ,
lena hoga janam hame kahi kahi baar
Summarizing her love for him.
After that she had written about his achievements,how proud she was based on the information she got from Munna, Pandit and Nanu. How she missed him and little conversations and wishes .
The last entry was just a day before they met.
" Aap to meri zindagi ho aur mai bahut pyar karti houn aapse, par aap ko kya mai pasand houn? Aap mujhse shaadi karna chahate hain ya sirf isliye kar rahein kyunki Nanaji chahate hai? "
How could someone love without even getting any acknowledgment or any response, forget about response he had never spoken to her. That night he kept reading her diary and was now the only person who knew her so well.
The morning dawn brought in new hopes for him. He wanted to talk to her alone.
"Nanu mujhe Naina se akele mein baat karni hai,ghar par nahi kahi bahar " he requested. Nanu made necessary arrangements to fulfill Sameer's wish. Later he had call Naina and requested her to wear the same Pink saree she had worn on School Farewell
"Mai apne dost se milke aata houn, tum dono yahi baat karlo , saying this Nanu left them in the park of the resort to meet his friend who managed it.
The pink saree really suited her, going with the color of her cheeks. She looked eternal when her open hair played with the wind . He had kept glancing her through the mirror during the entire journey.
"Tum chahati thi na ki mai tumhe is saree mein dekhoun farewell ke din ? Aaj isliye tumhe yeh pehen ke aane ko kaha , bahut khoobsurat lag rahi ho" he said smiling at her. Her heart jumped with joy finally he had said she was beautiful. He handed her a box of Ferraro Rocher chocolates and also added that he had not given any chocolates to Kamya. In fact she had taken from the one he had got for Munna and Pandit. She nodded and thanked him for fulfilling her small wish.
Finding an empty bench a little aloof from the crowd they sat in silence for few minutes.
"Naina mai janta houn tum mujhse bahut pyar karti ho, agar tumhari diary na padta to shayad hamari zindagi bhi baki married logoun jaisi hoti " hearing this her eyes shot up in surprise thinking " Ab nahi hogi kya ?".
"Yaar tum aise aakhen badi badi karke dekti ho toh mai kuch bol nahi pata , tum apna chehara udhar karo, as she turned her face , he held her hand causing her heart beat run at double the speed it was running already.
"Maine Shaadi ke liye haan sirf Nanu ki khushi ke liye ki hai. Agar mujhe nahi pata hota ki tum mujhse itna pyar karti ho, to shayad baki logoun ki tarah apni married life bhi physical relationship se shuru hoti aur shayad baad mein emotional connect hota. Lekin ab baat kuch aur hai " he paused . He could feel that she was trembling, he squeezed her hand gently to assure that all was ok.
"I want to know you Naina , feel each and every emotion the same way you feel for him. I want to love you the way you love me. Is dil mein itna dard hai ki pyar ko mehsoos karna mushkil hai. I need some time to accept this relationship. I will assure you that there will be no girl in my life, you will be my wife. But if you want to have a normal husband wife relationship immediately after marriage I may not be able to give that to you. Can you give me sometime after marriage? If you want to back out you have full right and I will take the entire blame " he said with a cracked voice.
She turned to him, he could see few drops of water trying to flow out of her eyes. Looking at him she kept thinking "He is asking her opinion which none had bothered to ask her earlier. He is ready to take the blame if she says no , trying to protect her. Yeh pyar nahi to kya hai ?
Somewhere her sixth sense said that all will be ok." seeing her lost he squeezed her hand a little more may be to assure himself that it will be ok . "Kya socha rahi ho " ?
She smiled "Aap meri duniya ho, aur mera pyar kaafi hai hum dono ke liye. Waqt diya aapko thoda nahi puri zindagi . “
The guilt feeling that he was going to marry a girl without even assuring her that he will love her was too heavy to carry. But after pouring his thoughts and feelings now he felt light.
The next two weeks he called her every night before going to bed .They talked about the day's events. Everyday she made it a point to check if he had food on time and gave little instructions on his diet, sleep and work . The care she showered on him brought a smile on his face.
The marriage was conducted with all the rituals and with lots of fun . Naina looked like a doll in the bridal dress and the pair looked perfectly made for each other. Nanaji had warned the Somani's not to spoil his grandson's marriage and just be good guests. Their friends Swati, Suhani , Munna Pandit all added joy and humor to their marriage.
"Sameer yeh meri best friend Suhani aur Swati hain , Aaj to Suhani ka Birthday bhi hai "
"Happy Birthday Suhani " Sameer and Naina wished her.
First Night of Marriage is what all new couples wait with lot of anticipation, new feelings and dreams of starting a life together as one . Sameer was lost he didn't know what to say to her. He entered their room with a lot of confusion and dilemma. He was surprised to see that she had changed to regular night dress ,cleaned up their bed and was waiting for him. As soon as she saw him she smiled which relaxed him.
"Aap fresh ho jayiye, night dress nikale ke rakha hai. Aaj hum aaram se baat karenge ." she said with all the love and affection to ease him.
He sat next to her resting is back on the head rest. " Sorry Naina, tumhare bahut saare sapne honge Suhagraat ko lekar par mai tumhe woh de nahi paa raha houn. Bahut dard hai is dil mein.." he said pulling her close to him.
" To pehle dard baant letein hai? Sukh Dhukh mein aapka saath dena ka vachan liya hai aapki Jeevasangini bankar to aaj apne dil mein jo dard chupa ke rakha hai aap keh dijiye. Bol dene se mann halka hota hai"
Looking at her with misty eyes , words failed to come out of his mouth. Holding his hand she just sat with him without saying anything giving him time to open up.
"Jab tak papa the sab bahut accha tha. Bachpan khushiyoun se bhara tha. Lekin jab papa chale gaye aur mummy ne dusri shaadi kar li , ek bhoj sa laga yeh bachpan. Hostel mein jab bimar hota tha to maa ki godha mein sona chahata tha, ladna chahata tha , zidd karna chahata tha jaise har koi karta hai. Par mere pass koi nahi tha. Kabhi kabhi jab teacher daant detein to mummy ko gale laga kar rona chahata tha. School mein shararate karta tha ki principal maa ko bulaye , is bahane se hi sahi maa ko dekh leta. Par baad mein yeh bhi kaam nahi aaya. Uske baad maine apne dil ke darwaze pyar ke liye band kar diye. Sirf Nanu hai jo meri duniya hai un hone itna pyar diya ki muskurana sikh liya , zindagi se ladna sikh liya hai " he went on with many such incidents which made him not be attached emotionally to anyone. He trusted only his friends and Nanu. None others had any place in his heart rather he was scared to allow anyone.
She stretched her legs and signaled him to lie. Resting in her lap he let out all his pain. She patiently listened to him and didn't stop him. We don't know how to love if we don't know how to listen she knew this and letting out was the only thing that can heel his pain. After an hour or so he slept in her lap. A small gesture but gave him the solace that he was looking for. At midnight he woke up and saw her sleeping in a sitting position with him in her lap. She had not moved an inch . How could she love him so much ? What had he done ?
"Naina, thik se soo jao " he made her sleep comfortably and then enveloping her in his arms he slept looking at the innocent face.
Next morning she was in the kitchen along with Ramdhari cooking his favorite breakfast when Nanu walked in.
"Beta mai kuch dino ke liye Kamlesh ke yahan jaa raha houn. Kuch kaam hai gaoun mein " . He had asked Sameer to go on a honeymoon after marriage. Sameer had denied as he had lot of work to finish and he needed time. To give privacy to the new couple at least at home Nanu had made the plan with Kamlesh Uncle.
Nanu left a little early after having a brief talk with Sameer.
"Aap jaldi se fresh hoke aa jayiye , breakfast saath mein kartein hai " she said
Sameer was surprised to see a lavish breakfast placed on the table with all his favorites. Taking a morsel in her hand she said " jab bhi hum dono honge , aap mere haath se hi khayenge " she fed him. Like a kid he had the breakfast praising each dish she had prepared for him. This was followed each day while they both were having food together.
After couple of days he said " Mai tumhe khilaoun?? , " he smiled and blushed a little while asking .
"Ji ! kyun nahi " ,saying this she ate the morsel from his hand . The love she was giving to him was returning to her , may be in small forms but that was enough for her.
One evening Sameer was upset as Munna and Pandit couldn't join him to watch cricket. Naina Joined him with a plate of hot pakodas and tea.
"Kya yaar Munna Pandit hotein to mazaa aata , at least cricket ki kuch to behas hoti " he grumped.
"Arey yaar thoda dive karke ball ko pakad lo , mai tumhare kapde dho dungi " Naina shouted as the fielder missed to save a four run.
"Ab na fast baller chal nahi rahein hai , ab to spinner aana chahiye na ? she asked Sameer who was looking at her with a puzzled look.
"Tum cricket dekhti ho , aur samaj bhi aata hai ? " he asked her .
" Ji haan cricket samaj aati hai aur interest bhi hai. Dekhiye leg-bye " she said pointing at the tv.
The rest of the match Sameer enjoyed with his new partner. He laughed at her naughty remarks on the missed catches or missed run-outs. They both were actually on their toes at the end. India needed 4 runs from 2 balls to win. When the batsman hit a four-run they both jumped and hugged each other. When she tried to pull away he held her close and said " India jeeti hai to thodi khushi maana letein hai " . Her heartbeats were loud enough for him to hear and feel it.
Later she got a bowl of halwa to celebrate their first hug.
"Meetha kis khushi mein ? ?" he asked her looking at the glow and blush on her face.
"India jeeti hai na " she answered him without meeting his gaze.
Pulling her towards him he asked "Accha sirrrrrrf India jeeti hai isliye ya phirrr ??
She didn't say anything but held him tightly as an answer to his question.
Few days had passed Sameer felt a lot comfortable with her. Naina also joined the factory and worked along with Sameer. She helped him with deals and in account section.
The care and love she had given was returning in the form of a chocolate , a rose or as a helping hand in kitchen. The late night conversations moved from the past wounds to the future dreams. Slowly she was ensuring him that she is there to care of him like a mother, fulfill all his wishes as a friend and taking care of his needs as a wife. A Jeevansangini in true sense. Her close proximity sent his heart racing. He wanted to move their relationship to next level but was finding hard to convey his feelings. Since morning he was hovering around her trying to convey his feelings.
"Mai Naina se keh donga , ki mai ready houn is rishte ko nibhane mein " thinking about the ways to put this .
When Naina entered " Mai ready houn " he said instantly.
"Ready hoke is waqt kahan jaa rahe hai, bahut der ho gayi hai soo jayiye mujhe bhi bahut neend aa rahi hai"
He sulked that she couldn't get it , he thought to take her out from the daily routine "Honeymoon pe jaounga aur keh dounga " he decided. Many new ideas and desires filled his mind with the mere thought of honeymoon. That night he held her close and kissed her temples . His warm embrace left her feeling giddy.
Next day after discussing with Nanu , he booked the tickets and hotel . He wanted the place to be a surprise to her.
"Naina jaldi se packing karlo , hum kuch din ghumne ke liye jaa rahein hai , mai apna office ka kuch kaam khata karke aata houn . kal subah ki flight hai" saying this he headed out.
The news was indeed exciting "Ghumne ke badle honeymoon kaha hota to kitna accha hota , chalo kuch to baat aage badi " she thought and took out all her new shalwar kameez ,night dress to pack.
Oncehe returned in the evening "Yeh aapke kapde thik hai? , aur maine yeh sab kapde liye hai . Jagah to batayi nahi aapne to isliye puch rahi houn, wahan ke mausam ke hisaab se thik hai na? " .
Looking at her dresses and night dress he was upset " Yaar yeh kaunse kapde liye hai tumne , yeh kaun leta hai ? " he said and went to answer the call .
Looking at the bag which Preeti had packed for her honeymoon , "Shayad is mein kuch acche dresses ho ", she placed it on the bed and looked at the contents. It had two laced nighties, a pair of jeans and few tops , a saree with a designer blouse and a shalwar suit . As she was looking at it on what can be picked.
"Yeh ekdum perfect packing hai , yahi lo " looking at the nighties he told her .
"Par yeh to honeymoon packing hai " she said lost in her own world.
"Haan wahi to hai " he paused as soon as she turned towards him .
A few minutes of what next was in their minds. To calm her racing heart she ran towards the door when he caught hold of her and locked her in a passionate embrace.
"Kal se yahi bolne ki koshish kar raha tha , par tum samjhi hi nahi ! "
"Aap kabhi bhi mujhse khulke aapke dil ke arman bata sakte hai , mere se to keh hi sakte hai " she said shyly.
"To ek aur arman hai keh doun ? " he told her husky tone .
"Hmmm " was all she could manage to tell.
" Aaj raat kya waise hi dulhan ki tarah sajogi jaise hamari shaadi ke din tum saji thi? Kya kehti ho " he whispered near her ear.
She moved into his embrace in a non-verbal response that answered his questions.
Finally the two lost souls found peace in each other.
Writer: Saji79
